15 setembro 2009

A portable sun in my life

Almost 1 year ago I was writing here about my worries about been a parent (main question: am I going to be as good as my parents were to me and my brother?).

Although I still don't have an answer to this question, nowadays I'm challenged by another aspect of parenting, or better say, stepparenting.

Never in my life had I imagined that I would be a stepparent. When you are young and picture your life a few decades ahead, you never picture the "step" part. You just see yourself getting married and having kids, in this order.

But life has mysterious ways, and if you have been following the story thus far, you know that since last month I became a stepparent. Was it a huge step for me? Of course it was. Did I worry about how would be my relationship with my stepdaughter? You can bet I did. But I decided that the only way to know this for sure would be to give her my attention, my affection, and just let things flow naturally, adjusting when needed. Turns out that I would find some of my happiest moments with her...

Almost every week day we go to the park, where we can walk the dog and she can play at the playground. During weekends, she goes with me to almost everywhere I go: to get groceries, to the barber, to have some delicious ice cream, etc. When we are at our house, we can be found playing any known/invented game that may occur to us. And throughout all these activities, there are always so many laughs, so many giggles, from both of us, that it makes me feel lighter... it makes me happy. It is as if she is like a portable sun, always shining light into me, no matter how tough a day may be.

And today she gave me one of my biggest gifts in recent times (maybe one of the biggest of all times): she invited me to take her to school.

I know it may sound trivial to you reading this, but to me, hearing her ask me to take her there... to feel her grabbing my hand and showing her class, her environment... and among all those parents and other kids... I felt so special...

And then, she just walks to class, grabbing my hand for just a little more, until off she goes to another day at kindergarten... to her activities and new friends... without knowing how important this moment was to this silly me (who was so happy that the biggest effort was not to cry until I was out of the building).

She is a portable sun... a sun full of bright light and love. I couldn't have asked for a better little girl in my life. So, thank You.

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